Siege Diaries 2/17/2021

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Today’s Daily Stoic writing prompt:  What happiness am I putting off that I could have right now?

Oh, my sweet summer child.

The pandemic has gotten rid of most “looking forward to,” except in the most abstract state.   It’s either find things that make me happy right now, or surrender to the drudgery of endless grey days.  Never have I felt the need to make the days count so strongly.  It certainly does drive home the fact that so much is beyond my control.

I don’t need a reason to put on a dress that makes me happy, right now.  I don’t need a reason to take a stitch or to dip a brush into paint, right now.  I don’t need a reason to write, right now. I need only know that it makes me happy, that it brings life to bring life to words, to colour; that it allows the caged body to set its spirit free, to soar unimpeded through past and present and future.  I can have that right now.  I do not even need to close my eyes.  It is mine, though, only if I value the gift I have been given, not that which is not given.

I Do Not Want What I Haven’t Got – Sinead O’Connor (song linked below)

I’m walking through the desert
And I am not frightened although it’s hot
I have all that I requested
And I do not want what I haven’t got
I have learned this from my mother
See how happy she has made me
I will take this road much further
Though I know not where it takes me
I have water for my journey
I have bread and I have wine
No longer will I be hungry
For the bread of life is mine

*****
The name will not be mentioned here.  The room does not need more air sucked from it. And the fact that my favourite band shares that name has always been painful to me.

As a friend stated, paraphrasing the traditional Jewish remembrance:
May his memory be a lesson.

****
Picked up a frame today from Michael’s for my weekend scribal project.  That will likely be my only foray into a non-grocery or pharmacy for awhile.  It was also grocery day, and I was on my own today because we’re waiting on the hot water heater person to come and reset the thing after the exhaust vent got blocked with snow and shut it down.  I am pretty sure that turning it off and then on again might fix it, but Dave was worried that might damage it, so we wait and there will be no showering until then.  Sobey’s was completely sucked dry of berries for some reason (and it was just berries; plenty of other fruit.)   Noticed that the local gym has reopened.  Picked up Swiss Chalet, and they have dining open again as well.  Not convinced this will last long.  The Canadian Warplane Heritage Museum, on the other hand, has decided not to reopen for now based on the new variants circulating, and also based on the fact that so many volunteers are in high-risk groups.  This is normally a slow time of year anyway, so I do expect the potential risks outweighed the benefits.  I suspect museum staff will continue on winter maintenance on the aircraft.

The Collectif 30s-style gown I ordered from ModCloth for about $50 came today, and I’m pretty impressed.  It fits me very well, and while it’s not a strict reproduction–so far as I know–It’s quite nice.  Who knows when I’ll get to wear it, but it was kind of fun just putting it on for a picture or two.

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