Siege Diaries 4/1/2021


Today’s Daily Stoic writing prompt: What thoughts are colouring my world?

I am not doing well today.  I don’t have all-out panic attacks very often, but I’ve been in that mode since I woke up.

It’s a combination of factors.  Our fridge is acting up again–because we overloaded it.  We know not to do this, but we did it anyway.  After pulling ourselves off the ledge of “must buy another one NOW!” and realizing that would be at least a six-week wait, we’ve purchased a mini-fridge as a backup and are waiting for a notice to go pick it up.  But that’s also a worry.  Home Depot is closed tomorrow.  I have a Toastmasters meeting tonight that I can’t skip.  The what-ifs are intense. 

There’s the current Ontario pandemic response idiocy.  The government’s “shut down” announced today is no such thing.  They still won’t close schools. They still won’t provide sick leave for essential workers. This half-assed response only assures this will be dragged out for longer than it could be. 

I have things I want to do right now.  Fun things. Creative things.  But I can’t concentrate for more than a few minutes at a time.  I keep checking social media.  Remembering another thing I have to check.  And my mind keeps cycling.

I am feeling a little better now.  I decided to lay on my excessively tiny couch, put on the Shostakovich 8th Symphony, and to simply let my mind go.   It worked.  (Not withstanding the two spam phone calls that interrupted–which I did not answer).  I just engaged with the music and let myself breathe deeply.  Afterwards, tired of waiting for the Home Depot pickup notice, we just went over there, grabbed the fridge from the stockroom floor (they had 18 of them), and cancelled the order.  Unlike full-sized fridges, mini-fridges are easily obtainable–likely because there are fewer people furnishing their bars or dorm rooms right now.  It’s a decent size.  Taking care of this particular issue has certainly helped my mood.

My Toastmasters meeting went well, and I’m feeling a little bit of the enthusiasm for the rest of my time off coming back.   Part of it was discovering this amazing story about an April Fool’s Day prank in 1974 in which a dormant volcano was brought to life. 

The Letter of MisIntent has gone over well, but even better was one of the Kingdom letters, based on lyrics of “Barrett’s Privateers.”

My second cross stitch kit arrived.  This one is going to be huge–it’s nearly 16″ x 16″ and is completely covered.  What I think I’m going to do with it is to start working on it a little bit every day.

Also:  Mogwai. Discovered listening to Q today.  How come I’ve never heard of them before?