Siege Diaries 6/11/2021

Today’s Daily Stoic writing prompt: How often is anger more destructive than what caused it?

I am (almost famously) a person with a very long fuse attached to a somewhat loud but ultimately mostly sound and fury signifying nothing explosive charge. It takes a lot to get me truly angry, but when I do get there, I can be blinded by fury for a few hours. It takes a lot of energy to sustain this kind of thing, which is why it rarely lasts long for me—I ultimately usually have something better to do with my time.

I think this is mostly born out of seeing a few too many times what can happen as a result of seething, unresolved anger. It festers, it grows. And this usually happens because it is not acknowledged or dealt with.

I am sitting here with my head covered in hair dye. I started in again with the hair colour last month, and I’m glad I did. While observing the progress of my grey hair was amusing, in the end I decided to return, not because it makes me look “younger”, but because I’ve been doing it so long and like the reddish colour. It’s me.

I’ve started working with a new mentee/protege (I still have problems using that term outside the SCA) with Toastmasters. I am having to hold back just absolutely squeeing all over this guy, because he’s like a version of me in his 20s (I presume). Background in poly sci and philosophy. Has a Master’s degree. Enthusiastic about volunteering and helping others. Likes the idea of explaining hard concepts to different audiences. Loves to research. I am stifling the urge to go hyper enthusiastic on him, because that would probably be embarrassing. He wants to get his first Path done by the end of the calendar year, so he’s a Toastmasters keener as well. It’s a tremendously invigorating thing to be confronted with a younger version of yourself.

Today was the first day of tentative reopening after months of more or less lockdown. I celebrated by going inside a Home Depot and purchasing a garbage can. (Some kind of critter is ripping open our garbage bag on trash day). There was also a trip to the grocery store. During these trips, I was excited to make progress on Car Flag Bingo, now having 8 of the 24 flags checked off my list. Tomorrow, I have an appointment to pick up thread at Gitta’s, and have hopes of maybe making it to the halfway point. I know the repaving of the driveway is imminent, although we haven’t gotten the official notice, and that will put car trips on hold for several days. The best thing about Car Flag Bingo? It’s happening. I’ve played this little game every couple of years since 2014 for World Cups and Euro Cups, and I’m seeing references popping up in my Facebook memories. It feels…normal?

I’ve gotten the main figure done on the embroidery (minus fill-in bits). The thread I am picking up tomorrow should mean no waiting to continue on with the next portion, which I’d like to be the cabin walls.

This should also be a gorgeous weekend. When I get back from Gitta’s, I expect there will be a good, long walk. We will not be eagerly stampeding onto a restaurant patio any time soon, but I’m happy to see optimism again, even from public health officials. We’ve been in the 500s with cases the last couple of days. Hope is a nice thing.